Skip to content


Damnit. Just when things are looking up, you get kicked right in the teeth again. Why can’t things work? My job is okay but the pay sucks unless you’re selling things people don’t want all the time. Which you CAN NOT do. Even my supervisor is not selling enough to make good money. I hear him complaining about it sometimes. We’re so fucking backwards there too… don’t even have my own computer. They still use PAPER FILES. No computer backups, nothing. Its hard to adjust to using paper that can get misplaced and you have no idea where to find it. On a computer, you just hit the START, FIND, FILES…. put in a reference to it and BOOM… You FIND IT. Second s compared to maybe hours or days or never!
And the pay! SUCKS. Minimum wage Or Commission, whichever is greater. And when do Commissions hit??? Where is my report? How do I know what I’m supposed to be getting????
I’ve applied for a job that I really really want and would really really love. I’ve not got the experience in the field though. I have Tech skills that relate to the job, but no sales experience. I HATE THIS!!! I’d do great at this job and it offers EXACTLY what I want. I will hear from them next week, but that may be too late and it may not be good news….

If I had the courage, I may well have slit my throat today.
I just had to say that. I know that its not courage but absolute despair and giving in. I won’t give in. I’ll keep fighting till they really kill me, but damnit. I feel so down right now, and I know there is more that I can loose and that really scares me too.
If I can only get my feet under me solid…………
Yeah, right, something is gonna knock me down again. FUCK. I hate feeling like this.
It so much a cop-out to say, “If I only had” This and That and the other thing…..
But that’s how I feel… If I only Had… but how to get??? WORK! Yeah, but in Mississippi? Without a College degree? Without solid experience? Without those coveted pieces of paper that say that you can monkey what the monkey does?

… I’m done.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *